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Phantom Loose Leaves

by Vida Killz

It goes something like this we censor ourselves by deleting syllables/ I grew up same way you did/ 'cept I remember seeing my mothers dreams for me come crashing down/ never wanted me a latch key kid/ came home to an empty house/ she must've known how much it would reflect the rest of my life/ somedays I can't piece together what was lost and what I've found/ still screaming fck you if you can't feel me/ what I mean to say is, you can-- if you open your mind to what you can't see, feel me? I've walked with snakes, sheep annnnd wolves, only now understanding none of those were meant for me// something like indigo something like spiritual I'll let you decipher from here…. just steer me clear of that f.e.a.r til my physical disappears and beyond eternal i (i) she who walks with wonder i (i) she still knows that hunger Blessings be, blessed to be From now Til yonder
NWO 02:34
I'd been waiting countless lifetimes for you to inject me with your love but it never came oh, it will never i'd been waiting so long to be reminded of how to live to be shown the blueprint of where these serpents dwell all I wanted was some guidance guidance i've been lost without running around in circles wanting to erase my anger my venom filled tongue transcended worlds vida balances on light beams as redundant as I care to be rituals lead by numbers painting my spirit with holes of 7 lessons I'll never forget Whose this leader of this New World Order Whose this leader of this New World Order Whose this leader of this New World Order Whose this leader of this New World Order behind my eyelids i've died so many times caught in the silence between my breaths swimming down shores of past memories bid my soul a decent rest this time on my quest to find gifts my ancestors left for me trapped inside this paradigm lest we forget it's that cryptic sorceress killing me softly I'd dined on finer thangs in heaven clouds and fairy wings just waiting patiently observing your unravelling talking to my reflection bout who can fake it best on street corners peddling my beliefs that each moment get repeated back unto me so many questions left unsaid channel my energy towards a deeper chest where soliloquies are my tear drops phantom wandering catch me right before my apocalypse speaking in tongues you'll never guess like like Whose this leader of this New World Order Whose this leader of this New World Order Whose this leader of this New World Order Whose this leader of this New World Order I do
it's all these signs and these symptoms static feed to me by my longing transform me into a leaf and let me fall where i may crunch my skin when i dry only to find i never change only rearrange my shape human being same thing lessons to reformat & lessons to reshape surrender to understanding each day a new page I am medicated to you breathe you in like the infant I am got so much to still draw from basic intents with wise words to replay trap 'em over these beats to watch the clouds roll away so many songs written spirit spread too thin on that same flow same distance meditative to you watch that all roll away when i inhale, exhale to find a new day
Spread Love 02:34
this cold makes me ponder on minutes i can't capture so many dying daily while we yearn to just live first world problems no wifi & no fridge I want to dig into another paradigm feed all of these kids from that "I don't know what hunger pains are just know that I have them." desire to not desire til i can't desire no more study the ancient teachings never forget where I lived so cold in these winters it would lead your patience astray cracked windows to grow under stores full of groceries just rotting away water bottles for payment when a large portion of the world can't even pay rent worried about my hubcaps not staying on when there's kids who don't even have shoes on perception/perspective got this want next is the steps summer to autumn til it's summer again spread love spread light share your gifts share your sight forgive me if I slip up it's just the God in me perfectly imperfect created as an image maintained thru my bitchin' made the hall of fame for less known but most heart centered think my ego won't catch up with me so I seek this art sit in bars sipping water so shy he said I just see your intents silent as I hesitate bleed these poetics it's a nuisance that my noose was bent here I still am until I am not


This is my second collaborative project with Self Destruct. Phantom Loose Leaves is a ode to thoughts that haunt me while I attempt to exist.


released February 1, 2014

Lyrics: Vida Killz
Produced By: Self Destruct


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Vida Killz San Jose

Born and raised up inside the rhythms of San Jose’s streets.

Vida works to ground themself in the understanding that there are deeply innate cycles to life.

With their unique gift of orchestrating words, they articulate this wisdom to their listeners, and shares their emotions in a way that gives a direct glimpse into their heart.
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