A Year In Words: Volume I

by Vida Killz



In 2011 Vida Killz challenged herself to make an EP every month for the entire year. The challenge was in hopes to create a vast growth in productivity, as well as, a platform to showcase the numerous sides to Vida's art form. The EPs were collaborations with a multitude of producers and musicians. Although, the challenge was met, some projects were not completed how they were intended due to unforeseen circumstances. Whether in regards to mixing, lyrics, etc. This compilation will showcase each track as it was meant to be released as.

This compilation is a homage to the entire project. This is Volume I of IV, all of which will be FREE. Enjoy!


released April 4, 2013


all rights reserved



Vida Killz San Jose

Born and raised up inside the rhythms of San Jose’s streets.

Vida works to ground herself in the understanding that there are deeply innate cycles to life.

With her unique gift of orchestrating words, she articulates this wisdom to her listeners, and shares her emotions in a way that gives a direct glimpse into her heart.
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Track Name: Pains Pain
This is not a song about a lover
This is a song about a loved one
Sent me spiraling down the path of inner hatred
Sicker than that of betrayal
This is not about one person
This is about many
Lead me to believe they were right for me
Then stabbed me in the heart strings
Where my pulse exists is unknown
Cuz when I was younger my heart did not have a home
Merely a suitcase
Which weekend they wanted me
Was it me who caused this,
Without regard to their affirmations
Still my spirit feels tainted,,
In a room full of loved ones
I still feel out of place
Now during the teen years
It played out much the same
Cats kept close to me for what I had to offer
Not who I was
Then attempted, failingly, to devour my sanity
I dream of youth where no one told me how life is
Was it really protection or setting me up to fail
Now now I’ve learned and mastered on how to navigate
And shed each veil that keeps me from you
And you
Still there is boundaries,
Now in my twenties,
I’ve felt family fall to darkness,
Ancestors who shall remain a memory
Such a divine dance
Lady death, Dios, keeping things in balance
Such that now there is still something in me,
I want peace of mind ( I pulled off the wings of a butterfly )
Track Name: Oro Corazon
Two seeds from the same pod
Planted congruently
Malnourished just the same
One stays indoors, mostly
The other just inside their brain
Grew up parallel
With perpendicular paths
Heaps of resentment
Tarnished understandings of family
Where each phone call is a time bomb
Next chapter was foreshadowed previous to their moon cycle
Internally, they long for connection
External tells of hollow tales
Feeling like it was meant to be more than him and I
Two wall flowers with identical interpretations of this broken glass
It's a tranquil remembrance in which our emotions are finally able to cope and understand what's passed

See beauty before me, pray to lift him up
Shine for you and I
Unaware of who hears my fears, feels my insides
Paradise was only a foolish dream
No place else I'd rather be, than in his life
Wished once to a thousand times
Erase all pain he'd experienced yet it's only made him stronger
Kids can be so vile, somehow adults aren't any better
Caught a glimpse of truth, I held it to my eyes

All that reaps, sewing benefits
Target practice of love's the hardest gift
Knowing there's one road to live
Show him construction in a safer haven
Genius of a deeper flavor
My cursive draws a rope that ties our paper airplanes together
From forever 'til the end of stanza
It's like acceptance is our only answer
To these blank pages where our indentations breath oxygen
Longed for an act of knowledge
Counting time until we meet our maker
I hate this chance of fate
Can't accept who might go sooner
Brother, I hope you fulfill your hunger

Caught a glimpse of truth, I held it to my eyes
Caught a glimpse of you, I held you in my mind
Caught a glimpse of you, I held you to my eyes
Caught a glimpse of truth, I held it in my mind
Track Name: L/P
When push fights shove
It's me versus asphalt
Hustle pavement
Ways to pave change
All she meant was lined with good intentions
I'm rhyme playing to see my world laugh her ass off
Forgive the ill remarks, please
I've been dormant for many seasons
Recollecting my grounding cuz Mother Nature shook my Earth and my sanity took a pounding
Confidence was left, yes. But what is Ego with no logic
My heart strings disconnected when my fingers touched the product
Of sound waves with no structure, no shelter could fulfill the longing
Of all that's been torn from inside the fruit tree that created knowledge
It blinded the souls who sought bliss from karma and holy calling
Now our mission in life is that of common sense
From the 6th one that the stars are falling
Into pockets where lint is organ
Ordained from Nostradamus
Vida Killz is known prophecy
Although we ignore the signs which taught us
To believe in all, and love you'll see
Only advice I will ever offer
Live with heart open & head lifted
Believe in all and love you'll see

(Jim Morrison Speech)

Seduced by worldly temptations
Cut off at dotted lines
Still I remain part of this mechanism
Keep these nomads all in line
Holding no transcripts of where we are
Or who we've been
Merely standing causes chaos
Two feet, no feeling attached
Merely breathing causes malfunction
No love for stolen chants
Misusing language of human nature
Where art form deteriorates to profit
In pockets of stars that never meet
I hold my hope in silence
For these words they'll never speak
Track Name: No H8
If i were to take reign of both hemispheres
I’d cut ties with governments
Cross x’s in their eyes
Hows what you're doing benefiting me
If my taxes pay your wages
Yet i cant get married
And fuck proposition 8
And anyone who backed it
Like me and the wifey
Are really stoppin’ your children from graduating college
Like thats what lives about
It's not the object of love
But the emotion itself
Got gays who fought in wars
Yet could never safely come out
And why the **** do we live in closets
It's 2011
And still suppressed
And who the hell shot that kid at pride last year
Now if i ruled the global
I’d make those sick folks in Uganda
Wear shirts with targets on their hearts
Shoot ‘em with paint balls
For each human being forcefully raped
Killed or harassed for being rainbow loving
Like the physical harm endured is gonna stop their fibers from crawling
Make their love for their partner cease
Wake them up from the truth they’re living
Yoo im sick of all the homophobic rappers,
Acting like we’re tryina convert you
Heterosexual entitlement
Wisdom see,
We hate that which causes us to feel inferior
And ive got nothing but prayers for all the souls
Who crossed our boundaries
Much love to all the young LBGTQ who felt invisible
And made their realities reflect their emotions
No longer walking on earth
But still i’m holding hope that
Those opposed will see the light soon
Cuz in the end we die, and my heart bleeds
From all this abuse
You see i’m reminded daily
1200 plus rights ive had stripped from
My humanity
And Obama who?
If he still ain’t dropped the hand and told the churches to stay
The fuck up out the politics
Where your church is run by folks who marry more than once
And force your kids to do the same
I wanna take you back to when gay was used as happy
Not to say something was stupid
The ignorance enlightens me
Keep standing, y'all just keep standing
Don't let the negative take you down
Keep standing, your love is felt
and love surrounds
Track Name: La Rey
call me foolish,
well, I’m desolate
casting stones upon
the highest road
interpreting seasons calling me
say you want me, then retract it
like each statement
was made to feed your calloused thoughts.
told me,
"stay with me, now, silent. I’ll be back, swear it.. for your beauty is far too potent."
watch you drain my stale air, but it’s me, the frail, fragile hare
throw myself inside fire storms, and wonder why it burns
wish you could be all I need,
denial, slow supplier
even in distance
i chant for you
mantra feed me soul,
brahman holds all knowledge
sans duplicity
where detachment cares
who abuses and excites

i’ve known many,
wanted none,
too afraid of catapulting
remind me when I come,
your touch, it broods my fire
i could live off
morsels of sensuality
for sex is too far gone
i sing in pure thought,
those who follow, restart my pure of heart
'cuz this pain is like a final dusk

always wished you best in life,
fly feline
got you tatted on my rib cage,
these odes and holograms
are how we’ve always
seems our connection
without beds of time signature,
boom, kick, the drum does slip
told you let’s play a game
of no words
lasted 20 minutes
your energies aren’t aligned
in your confidence
i’ve had no doubts that you’re the one
& i am yours
i could write you albums
of love,
watch you press repeat
as if these were merely
for the world

see, these feverish humanoids
seek to fill voids,
our love is destiny,
from ancient times
when i was king
and you were pearl
of village
fought to steal your heart
seems the dance repeats
in modern time
romanticizing [on] who could build a better world
baby, let’s get lost tonight
for life
in eye sight.
i will keep you safe
from things which
bump&creep in silent times
for now I rest my weary eyes,
'til you open hand
songs to you before I met,
no coincidence, lady death, teach me how to sing again.